oh.

I can smell the demise of the people around me,
Their rotting minds and,
Receeding consiousness.

shatter

Suffocated by a choke of toxins.
I can hear my heartbeat shudder,
In the mist of peace
There is chaos in my mind
I can’t sleep.

Thoughts rumble through my head,
An earthquake during the aftershock,
It comes again as you begin to think it’s over.
My eyes are shut but
Images still fall through.
Dark voices creeping,
Chastising me for every move
I’ve made.

You can ignore some,
People telling you of your wrong doing
But that voice creeping is yours.
A wicked conscience because everything,
Everything is your fault.
You did it.

In these images
Are everyone I’ve wronged.
Him. Her. Them.
Eyes scrutinizing me
Lke a piece of meat
Past my expiration date,
Wondering if I’m still edible.

The oxygen around me has
Taken an exit as well.
Suffocated by a choke of toxins.
My lungs seem to shudder,
Mind shutting down.
I can hear my heartbeat tremble.

Falling apart as the fire inside
Is extinguished.
Let me implode!
Pull myself into
Her
Him
Them
Anyone else but me!

Maybe I could sleep if
She had a good day,
Or he just got laid,
Or they had a great night drinking.
Even then would I still be
Suffocated by a choke of toxin,
Hearing my heartbeat—shatter?

© Sarah Cowlin
3/10/11